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Do Your Friends Come Knockin? November 17, 2010

Filed under: Learning to live — redeemingcarolyne @ 5:46 am

Next month on my birthday, it will be one year since I started this new journey. I’ve been thinking lately about the new people, since last December, that have in some way touched my life. I then asked myself, “Well, how did all these people come into my life?”

One of the reigning themes that I have heard from multiple sources this past year is to seek out role models, surround yourself with amazing people, and friendship are one of the most valuable things you can have here on earth.

Zig Ziglar says everything so well and he talks about finding someone who does what you want to do, and does it amazingly, then ask them if they will take the time to be a role model for you.

Here are some of the books I have read this past year that all express the importance of seeking out other great people:

48 Days to the Work You Love-Dan Miller

The Millionaire Mind-Thomas J. Stanley

Real Success Without a Real Job-Ernie  Zelinski

Better Than Good-Zig Ziglar

Another awesome resource has been my Free Agent Academy School. One of the key components in FAA is community. A group of like minded people who can share with each other and help one another grow. You want your FAA family members to succeed as much as you want it for yourself.


I’ll be honest ,up until this point I have had little in the way of deep or true friendships. Sure I knew a lot of people, but it  was superficial nothing more than aquaintances-sadly. I would complain that I didn’t have any real friends, but then, what was I doing about it?


Wow, the confidence that can be found in God! It is only through Him that I have the strength and confidence to put myself out there without really any fear. It has grown out of a deeper relationship with God that I have been lead to be bold for a better life.

Hebrews 13:5b-6  “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So, we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

Here are just some of the ways I have reached out and the results from doing so:

In the spirit of imagining myself to New Mexico I researched homeschooling groups in the area I want to move to, found a group, and sent out an email asking if anyone was willing to share with me. I received one response from a homeschooling mama who lives right in the city I long to live in. We still keep in contact periodically through email or facebook.

A sweet sweet sister in Christ, who I confessed all of my burdens to,  then gracefully blessed me with getting to experience Christ’s love like never before. I was repeatedly prayed for and blessed with new opportunities to grow in Him.

Asked the pastor at church if he could connect with some self employed people who would be willing to share their personal story with me. I got to have 2 awesome talks with two awesome people one of whom is now my friend.

I reached out to an entrepreneur mama of 6 to get some advice and not only did she speak to me when she didn’t even know me, we now are friends.  She got me to join a wonderful new homeschooling group this year.

Another mom here in town started a downtown biz and I just asked if she’d ever want to talk with me. She has been more than willing not only to share wisdom but also offered to help and encourage me in anyway she can in starting my biz. The last time we talked she surprised me with a pair of rhinestone cross earrings that go along with my little rhinestone cross theme I’m on-such grace.

I read a homeschooling article in a magazine and really liked it so I sent an email to the address left by the author. I had no idea if she would respond and if so, it would be short and sweet. Too cool! She lives again in the same town I want to move to and we have corresponded several times through email with the invite that if I get out that way we will have lunch together.

I sent an email to someone I didn’t even know, I just knew they were a neat person from the little I did know. Now this was no ordinary email it was really revealing about my circumstances.  I don’t know why, but I felt compelled to share this with her even at the risk of her thinking I was coo coo for coco puffs. Through many emails, many insights, many prayers, and the amazing meeting in person at the Free Agent Academy Intensive, I now have the most amazing friendship one can have with a sister in Christ.

I could write an entire other blog on all the people who have touched my life in Free Agent Academy. Just an amazing group of Christian believers who want to live out everyday of the life they have been blessed with. People intentionally seeking His purpose and then actually living it! So weird, Huh? Living out the life God intended you to live. Everyone that I have connected with has had some impact on me and I’m just gettin started. Oh yeah, one of whom is also moving to the exact city I long to move to!

I committed to Bible Study which I said just wouldn’t work with the little ones and homeschooling. Well, I made the promise to God and it is working. We are a group of 29 women most of whom I didn’t know and He has put me in charge of attendance. I have to know who is there and who is missing and follow up with those not there- hence I had to learn everyone’s faces and names. Also I am the prayer warrior. I take all the prayers requests and type them up with some color, add a song, encouragement, and email them to the group.

God lead me to reach out to a dear mama who tragically lost her son. He stretched me to do things I had not done before and to show someone else a little of His love. We continually meet and are friends.

Another mama who I hardly new has had a devastating attack on her marriage and through Him I felt like a waterfall of prayer and insight. We, now pray, stay connected, and are trying to get to go together to a marriage support group through a church.

I used to be the kind of person who you had to approach. I probably wouldn’t initiate a conversation and would be intimidated. I really have spent most of my 17 years of parenting alone. He has wonderfully transformed a confidence in me that only comes through the Father.

I am going to share a little secret with you-NOT ONE OF THESE PEOPLE CAME KNOCKING ON MY DOOR AND ASKED IF THEY COULD BE MY FRIEND!  Can you believe that? I had to intentionally seek them out with His purpose and I think it has turned out pretty well.

To get the privilege of experiencing true, pure, intimate relationships with friends in Christ it absolutely amazing. If you have not experienced this you truly are missing out. I cannot encourage you enough to pray and ask God to show you some “real friends” and then don’t be shy, reach out to them and watch how you’ll grow.


4 Responses to “Do Your Friends Come Knockin?”

  1. Joanna Says:

    Carolyne, this post popped up on FB and I thought I would check it out, what an amazing story! You are awesome, and God is awesome in you! I’m so looking forward to getting to sit down and knowing you for ‘real’ 🙂

  2. John Snook Says:

    Hi Caroline, So true. I have found myself discouraged and disgruntled due to not finding those close personal relationships. I used to be willing to throw myself out there and do as you are currently doing but for some reason I have been reluctant to attempt to make those connections. I have told you before, “You Are An Inspiration!” I am going to start today, finding and building those friendships.


  3. Teri Miller Says:

    Okay, you made me cry. RIGHT here in the middle of things with my kids. The boys are looking at me like I’m nuts…
    This is SUCH a big issue. I’ve literally gone thru times of feeling all sorry for myself (esp the first 2 or 3 years after we moved across the country to CO), because no one was coming to knocking on my door. Poor, pitiful me. Yeah, I had to learn to BE a friend…had to go pursue activities & friends & groups. I think it’s an ongoing process too, y’know? Gotta keep CULTIVATING the incredible relationships God leads us to. Like the amazing gift of YOU. Thank you – for your wisdom, insight, encouragement!! love & hugs – Teri

  4. melodie Says:

    What a fantastic and moving post! I read it, smiling all the way through, in appreciation for how God has transformed and emboldened you to seek out others and give yourself to developing relationships that are so obviously divine connections. We need each other and “real friends,” as you say, are PRECIOUS. Thank you, my sister, for encouraging me to keep knocking and loving – Melodie

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