I feel the lyrics to this song because I live them every day. They remind me of the relentless aching inside me to seek out something beautiful not only for myself, but for my family also. I am certain that my kiddos know I love them and that I try to do my best for them, but do they understand what is inside my heart and soul for them? I don’t think so. Maybe they are too young or too inexperienced in life?
This tenacious longing burns within me to keep pushing forward. Constantly searching, seeking, and learning how to bring them to something beautiful. I have spent countless sleepless nights over years just dwelling on what I want for them and then how far away we are. Satan just loves to defile my good intentions with the thoughts of everything I haven’t done-ya know the old focusing on the negative. Oh, how many times I have just wept to think that I have let them down. That I, their mama, gave them less than what God intended. It is an immeasurable pain to long for something so desperately for your children and with such intent and then fail pathetically.
One of the greatest struggles we carry as Christians, “Why, when I do what is right in the eyes of God do things go so terrible wrong?” That is were the non-Christian loves to come in and say, “See, so whats the point?” Christian or not you will have trouble. I have to tell you- WE LIVE IN A SINFUL WORLD. No matter how righteous you live, you will still be subject to sin, whether it is your sin or from another person. All the more reason to get on my knees and be so so thankful that I have a Lord and Savior or I would be doomed! When I allow Him to work in me through my failures, victory is His and glory is bountiful.
2 Corinthians 5:14-15 For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died for them and was raised again.
So, in this pursuit for something beautiful I feel compelled by God. I desire this for myself and my family so stinkin bad! It is an undeniable force that works in me, that longs, that strives. And for what? For His something beautiful. God and His provisions are unimaginable.