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It’s Really Dark In Here May 21, 2011

Filed under: Journey to the Core — redeemingcarolyne @ 4:11 pm

I cautiously step forward, open palms softly reaching outwards seeking the safety of You                                                                                                     In the depths of the never ending, blinding  darkness I know Your word will remain true

I wail, I weep, I scream out for my Lord to come and save me from myself.….yet again                                                                                          I’m aware Your here, I know You don’t leave me….but I can’t see you, I can’t hear you in the muck of my sin

It’s terrifying, paralyzing, but I push forward one more step and then another only to crash right to the ground                                                       Can I get up? Can I pull one leg out from the other and firmly plant my own two feet right here where I was found?  

NO! I can’t! If I lift me up no sooner than I start to feel grounded I am tumbling straight down, down, down.                                                      No sweeter is your hand then when extended out in full reach, patiently waiting, full of love, abundant grace is Your crown

Is this what it takes Father? This is what it really takes for me? I say I surrender, I say I give my mind, my heart, my spirit, my husband, my children, my will, my ALL over to you and 30 seconds later I have stolen them ALL back!  I sing your praises that I believe THAT YOU ARE ALL I NEED and still I keep trying to find Carolyne in the things of this world.

Am, I SO stubborn that it will take feeling like I am loosing my grip with it all? Will I stand up and say You are MY EVERYTHING while my small world of Carolyne crumbles around me? I commit to you Jesus that I want OFF this road, I am NOT willing to walk my path anymore. Send a league of Angles, plant a thousand thorn bushes with electric shock, I don’t want to return to this ANYMORE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyZC7-KeUfE                                                                                                                                                                            The Lyrics to Jeremy Camp’s song Take My Life

Here I am before You now
Like a child I’m reaching out
Here I am I’m giving all I can
Breaking my pride I feel I’m through
Shattered inside I run to You
And now I give it all to You

Take my life, Take my mind
take my soul take my will
I am yours now, and I give it all to You

Laying all down before my King
Offering all my everything
Laying all down before the one I serve
I can understand the reasons why
You came on this earth and died
And now I give it all to You

I can feel You on my shoulder
So I know that You are there
I can see You paint my picture
The beauty is all there                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

 Father in Heaven TAKE MY LIFE, TAKE MY MIND, TAKE MY SPIRIT, TAKE MY WILL, I AM COMPLETELY & HOLY YOURS, I GIVE IT ALL TO YOU~I really don’t want me anymore.

Have you reached the point were you are ready to say to God, “TAKE IT! Take every last bit of it, it’s Yours!”     

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One Response to “It’s Really Dark In Here”

  1. This.
    Is.
    Beautiful.

    Your words plumb the depths of our universal woman-cry, to release our own hold, to be held; desperate for freedom and security, all at the same time.

    Jesus, Jesus, we need You!


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