Ya know what?…..I just don’t even want to. But God…..ugh!
I DON’t have what it takes~Lord…..pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!
What if…….I had….If only……….I was………
But I was so dumb and lost when I did this…….doesn’t that excuse me?
He is NEVER going to change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t even think I like him!!
Isn’t this injustice Lord?…..Isn’t it..………Isn’t it…….the life of a wicked sinner?
Oh, yeah, thanks for the reminder~that’s ME a wicked sinner! And to what do I deserve? Absolutely NOTHING!
In-spite of seeing His truth……..in-spite of seeing through His eyes these are all the treacherous lies that Satan has plagued my head with~and this was the nice version. It takes a conscience effort daily to ward them off. I can see, I can understand, and yet I still…… have to battle my losing war?
The Evil one is persistent and will Never stop his attacks~especially when his prey is so readily convinced. All it takes is one tiny negative thought to come in and I am quickly overflowing.
And again with my never-ceasing persistence I come to you Lord. I come to You with arms open wide in total surrender. To be told again and again and again that I CAN’T do this without you LORD……I simply am NOT enough. I come to ask you to show me Your everything in ME. Your complete….Your fulfilled…..Your Holy life for me……Your will NOT my own!
In the desperation of my plea Your loving hand extends I can only pray as I crawl, and begin to walk again, that it will be so much longer this time before I fall right back into Satan’s lair. The sin of my thoughts, the sin of my half a heart, & the sin of my words.
No, NO! Not how much longer! How do I conquer this one once and for ALL Lord? How do I put this dragon to rest, NEVER to wake again?
What has that naughty, little, prowling lion been whispering in your ear?