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We Bought a Zoo…ok not I January 5, 2012

Filed under: Journey to the Core,Movies — redeemingcarolyne @ 6:04 am
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It has been eons since I last went to the movie theater, but as a reward for my 11 year old Mayo giving himself painful shots every two weeks I decided we should go to a movie together.  Ok, first I rationalized with myself that the crazy  ticket prices were far worth letting my son know that he is doin a great job. Then, there is that popcorn and I happen to think our local theater has the BEST popcorn ever.  Lastly, I faced the dilemma that there isn’t usually anything worth seeing.  I came across this interesting movie called We Bought a Zoo.   Sounded inspirational, was based on a true story, and I thought surely there would be some “good character qualities” in there.

So we went and I was delightfully surprised as I highly recommend this movie. In fact it surpassed my expectations.  It contained real-life situations, real-life pains, and an extraordinary responses to life.  I have NOT read the book, so I cannot comment on how off track the movie went, but it was full of encouragement and life-lessons if you are willing to open your eyes wide enough to see them!

I  don’t want to give much of the movie away, so you can go see it and let it speak to you first hand, but I would like to share a COMPLETELY unexpected conviction.  When I came to see this movie I wasn’t expecting a marriage movie, and it is not.  Mr. Mee’s marriage certainly is one of the focal points, but it truly is a whole life movie.  When you ask God to speak to you and convict you…….HE WILL and He does it where and when HE wants!  I find this most often occurs when I LEAST expect it!

Benjamin Mee had the seemingly perfect marriage. Well, we all no there is NO such thing as a perfect marriage, but he had a really really good one!  He found and married a rare gem, a true woman, which today seems so hard to find.  He had an exciting job doin what he loved, two adorable kiddos…..life was GOOOOOOD-right?  He had something beautiful, something worthy, something so many of us are longing for, and…………….God took her home.  This seemingly perfect wife, in her youth, with a great husband, and two young children who needed her……AND He took her home.

Besides almost shoveling down THE ENTIRE BUCKET of popcorn(with extra butter of course), I was begging my Mayo, “Please help me eat this I am going to eat the whole thing!”  I reached the point were I could no longer resist my conviction and the warm salty tears began to overflow in a steady pitter patter.  Seriously, no one else in the theater was cryin and I mean it really wasn’t even a crying scene. The more I saw the beauty of his life, the pain of his loss, and the excruciating struggle to OVERCOME, every wiping of a tear was replaced by ten more.

I began to be consumed with grief, a completely new experience for me. I know pain(we’ve been best buds), I know hurt, I know sorrow, I know wallowing, I know self-righteousness, but grief? As unpleasant as this new sensation was it actually propelled me forward. Unlike all the other horrendous feelings that I willingly climbed into a hole for, this grief was bringing me one step further, one step closer…to Him.

You see I have gone through life will all my gripes about NOT being the poster wife, and having anything BUT the poster husband, and ghhhrrrr@@@##### for this stinkin, stinkin marriage of mine! I had this husband united to me in marriage through Christ and he was here, right here with me on earth, yet for 95% of our years together ALL I carried was the hurt and the suffering and the pain. God didn’t take my husband home….I had him here, I had a chance.  I became consumed like a wildfire with grief for EVERY SINGLE SECOND I did ANYTHING BUT BE, LIVE, and LOVE as my husband’s unconditional wife.

Through the unstoppable force from within I was compelled to surrender to my knees and plead to God for forgiveness.  Yeah, I know what He is going to want me to do next…it is coming!

We live in an information age with endless knowledge available that we can feed ourselves until we’re overflowing.  I am finally starting to grasp that matters of the heart cannot be fixed by knowledge, by wisdom, or by human efforts, BUT ONLY through ONE source……Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Is He trying to work on your heart?  Oh, won’t you let Him, His blessings are abounding.

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4 Responses to “We Bought a Zoo…ok not I”

  1. WHAT a beautifully humble, insightful, precious work of artful words.

    He is calling you, calling you…to true healing, true transformation! And we both know – the healing transformation in your marriage begins with YOU, with the WORDS of your mouth.

    Jesus calls us to follow, regardless of past hurts, successes, failures, abuses. He calls us to something radical & unexpected:
    “leave everything and follow Me.”
    “let the dead bury the dead…follow Me.”
    “forsake all that you have known…follow Me.”
    “take up your cross…follow Me.”

    OH, Carolyne – I hear His deafening-loud-whisper voice – calling me, calling me. Am I WILLING to do what it takes to FOLLOW?

    That’s the crux of my battle, my longing & striving & letting go & seeking…every single day, every hour, every time Kevin & the kids are on my last nerve…to do the self-sacrificing, heart-humbling, take-a-deep-breath-and-do-the-right-thing, hard work, of following Jesus.

  2. Jason Garey Says:

    Carolyne, I was moved by your account here. I’m the cryer in my family. I can’t say that I’ve experienced grief in this way. I’ve lost grandparents and friends, but sadly I wasn’t that close to them. Though, when I lost my father-in-law and my wife’s grandfather last year, I had a more “Heavenly” perspective, as in “I will see them again soon”. For those in Christ, the loss is certainly ours and can be devastating at that. I’m sure you’ve heard “count your blessings” numerous times from well-intentioned believers and I bet you do. I don’t know if you attend church and pray with your husband, but any of these are possible, you are indeed blessed. I am not in that position anymore. My wife and I fell away 20 plus years ago, but He drew me back in. She is still exploring her own ideas on life, death and God (if there is one). The battle is His, but He has chosen me to comfort, aid and rescue to whomever I can reach. All too often I get caught up in the action and overwhelmed by the weakness of my flesh, but thankfully He has been so faithful in reminding me what truth is and what really matters in light of Eternity. Hang in there sister and press in. Things WILL get better when you focus on HIm and not on your circumstances. Blessings! 🙂

    • WOW, Jason!
      Thank YOU so much for sharing. It is SO hard to walk in your faith, especially while raising kiddos, ALONE! God, has certainly given you strength!
      I will certainly start praying for your wife!
      So appreciate the encouragement….can never tire of encouragement there is always something trying to discourage me!!!!
      Blessings,
      Carolyne


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