2 winners or……two losers June 26, 2012
I have been hearing this song on the radio a lot lately and kinda liked it but really didn’t think much of it. Then today, I hear an interview from the singer and my eyes are opened to the real heart of the song. Too funny, before hearing this interview I had not even related this song to marriage
….or maybe I just wasn’t really listening at ALL!
Here is a copy of what Matt Kearney said about his song Ships in the Night.
“PMS is no joke man,” Mat Kearney said during an interview with Mix 96.5/Houston.
It’s not exactly something you expect to hear in an interview with the singer-songwriter. But Kearney is a guy who first picked up a guitar during college (while on a soccer scholarship) and just a few years later finds himself touring with Train. So perhaps you should expect the unexpected.
The topic of PMS came up when talking about the story behind Kearney’s most recent single “Ships In the Night,” which he wrote after making up with his wife. He explained that he had the idea for the title before the song came to him.
“It’s about two people trying to connect. Me and my wife got in
a fight on the way to the airport. So I’m leaving and we’re sitting in the car not talking to each other,” he said. “She had cramps or something and I was late because of it to the airport so I missed my flight. It was not the best.”
On his connecting flight he called his wife to apologize.
“We’re talking and we’re making up and I was taking notes, sitting there writing everything down we were saying. I was like, ‘This is such a good song!’”
He continued to joke that he’s the first man to talk about PMS in a song, “‘You had cramps and I was late,’ it says it in there,” he said.
“PMS is no joke man,” Kearney said, who’s been married to his wife Annie since June 2010. “It’s hard man, when you just want chocolate and you’re *#@*@#@ — and you don’t know why you’re mad.”
Ok, so now that you have that basis listen to the song and take in the lyrics
Ever been there done that? How bout a million times!!!!!!
This reminds me of some wonderful wisdom I learned from Ken de Koning, who wrote 1 Plus 1=One http://www.1plus1equalsone.com/ There is a chapter called, Fighting Fair relating to marriage as being a team. “When your team loses, there are no winners on your team only on the opposing team.” You BOTH win or you BOTH LOSE NOT one or the other!!! Guess who is on the opposing team? Satan, and he delights in your losses. Genesis 2:24 profoundly teaches us For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
Are you a vocal man-beater? February 14, 2012
If I asked most any good-willed person if they thought inflicting physical harm upon another human being was wrong, I most assuredly would get an undoubtedly YES, response. Not only wrong but rather heinous & horrendous. I most certainly agree and in NO way am I going to lesson the impact of this kind of tragedy but I want take a look at another area of devastation that far too often is simply brushed off as a yeah yeah yeah just get over it. You know the old sticks and stones can break my bones but words can NEVER hurt me.
Wow, I don’t think that could be further from the truth! Have you ever had a cut, a wound, or a bruise? Yes, it hurts, even deeper when unjustly inflicted from another. Yet in a relatively short period of time the physical wound heals and is gone. Is there an emotional wound attached with that? Absolutely, and that can be treacherous…..I am not alleviating that just stay with me and hear me out. I have unfortunately experienced unjust physical wounds and I would not wish that upon anyone, but if you asked me what were the most crushing events of your life, honestly……that would NOT be one of the first things I’d remember.
The MOST painfilled times I can remember involve a sense of aloneness, worthlessness, being undesirable, being invisible, or completely misunderstood. Those spoken and unspoken words that you have NO security in the one who should love you, and not only are you NOT wanted, but a complete nothing.
Blood can be wiped away, capillaries repair themselves, & the multiple shades of the bruises fades, but what about the fatal blows to my spirit, to my heart, to my mind? Internal bleeding can go on for years without even being diagnosed and when it is, how much of life has already slipped away? These Mariana trenches can take years of tenacious effort to completely heal and overcome.
Psalm 57:4 My soul is among lions;
I lie among the sons of men
Who are set on fire,
Whose teeth are spears and arrows,
And their tongue a sharp sword.
Psalm 64:2-3 Hide me from the secret plots of the wicked,
From the rebellion of the workers of iniquity,
Who sharpen their tongue like a sword,
And bend their bows to shoot their arrows—bitter words,
Psalm 140:2-3 Who plan evil things in their hearts;
They continually gather together for war.
They sharpen their tongues like a serpent;
The poison of asps is under their lips. Selah
There are so many references in God’s Word about the tongue I could go on and on. At times it can be our most powerful weapon with our subjects in waiting for their impending death.
Now here is where God’s convicting comes in. The following is an excerpt from the book Love and Respect. It is from a letter that was sent in to Dr. Eggerichs from a husband in response to his wife’s efforts on implementing unconditional respect towards him.
“….it faded away like a mist. She returned to her old self. She has not trusted me due to her relationship with her father. She has in the past been a VOCAL MAN-BEATER with her negative thoughts and comments about men, in general. I feel like an orphan in my own home. I feel like a husband with no wife. What I do experience of her presence is her critical, negative, hostile, and judgmental attitude…..My emotions for my wife are being buried daily by her attitude towards me when she makes me feel less than a man.”
As I scrape my heart up off of the floor I must confess how guilty, as Christian wife, I am of this. Vocal Man-beater, let that sink in for a minute. Pretty harsh huh? Also……VERY true!
Critical, negative, hostile, and judgmental attitude…….are any of those reigning true for you? Are you letting the world convince you, you are just expressing your emotions, or he deserves it, or I can’t help it he really makes me mad-EXCUSES! These are nothing more than excuses to pacify our self-righteousness.
What if God unlocked the power of what being a 1 Peter 3 girl could do in your marriage? That purity and reverence lived out in your life, and the gentle quiet spirit that is of great worth to God.
What if…….instead of being a vocal Man-beater you became a vocal Man-esteemer? Could that resurrect life into your gradually dying husband? Stop trying to do it on your own…..LET Him into your heart and allow the transformation to begin unto completion!
I GOT RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! November 9, 2011
Yeah…rings. Ya know the kind you wear on your finger. So, who cares what’s so special about rings?
Throughout this unimaginable, inexplainable, and defying journey of a marriage I have definitely done some outrageous things, some good and some not so good. Well this one was one of the crazy for the betterment of us...prayerfully.
I know what God has commanded me to do. I don’t always like it, I don’t always understand it, and I certainly don’t always WANT TO! After feeling as though I had exhausted all the attempts thus far, with perseverance I tried another.
It is a fine line to say I am here, here for good fighting for us, but I am NOT willing to walk IN your sin with you. I am NOT willing to participate in the unhealthy and devastating nature of our current marriage. With a note of raw, hard honesty I removed those wedding bands from my finger and placed them in an envelope and left it for my husband.
It was a blatant statement to profess what God has shown me over these years, that a marriage can NEVER experience its full glory outside of Him, our creator.
Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
For those of you saying, “Doesn’t that kinda sound everything the opposite of committed to your marriage?” “Aren’t you kinda walkin away?” Not at all, my efforts were to convey a whole commitment to Christ, and to live out our marriage in and through Him. Yet there is a key element in the cord of three strands….
Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
…..for it to come to fruition it NEEDS the willing participation of three. I was in, God was in, but were did my husband stand? This gave him my clear beliefs, my stance, and the choice to choose. A marriage braided in Christ or a marriage destroying everything in its path.
Needless to say, my aspirations were NOT received well, but scoffed only leaving me to wait, wonder, and to pray.
6 MONTHS have passed without even a whisper or a hint. In fact, things have gotten more bleak and intensely difficult.
TODAY…..this day I got a glimpse, a sneak peak into the work that He is doing right now……inside of my husband. I woke to find my rings laid out in waiting…..waiting to be placed back on the finger of whom they belong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, everything is all better now-right? NO! My marriage isn’t mystically fixed, my troubles are NOT all gone……I have simply gotten the priveledge of the firsthand experience of just what God can do.…..even when you’re not looking.
Is my prodigal husband home, ready and willing to fully dedicate this marriage to Christ? No……..but he is on his way and that….that is a beautiful piece of hope that I will clasp onto. I have had the honor of having some amazing Christians tenaciously praying for this marriage and the God-sized miracle to occur, that total transformation of our hearts. I BELIEVE…..I BELIEVE IN WHAT my JESUS CAN DO.
Some day, maybe next year, next month, or even in the next decade, but one day it is my fervent prayer to be remarried TO MY HUSBAND in a church unto Christ and I think this song will play as I glide down to the alter.
Have you accepted that you are His…..FOREVER? Its a beautiful thing……a very beautiful thing.