Lunatic or Simply Alive July 8, 2011
Lunatic defined as a person whose actions and manner are marked by extreme eccentricity.
Lately I keep referring to myself or the things I am doing as crazy……as in crazy GOOD. Something wild and totally out of the box that in-turn produces some of the sweetest fruit.
Well this one constitutes as lunactical and I absolutely LOVE IT!
ONE LUNATIC MOM
Headed for the next 13 hours across 800 miles towards the east……..what will happen????????
Life is about to be FULLY LIVED & LIVED FULLY!
There is a time to walk along the ocean shore and look out at that vast, bumpy, endless water and say, “I’m not ready yet….just need to stay on the shore and ponder some more.
THEN…..there are times when you climb to highest edge, raise your arms with confidence, inhale that deep cold breath of air through your nose…….and JUMP, soaring through the air with the loudest YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
This girl is jumping and I can’t wait to tell about it, but…….I will let you ponder for yourself were we might be headed and next Tuesday you’ll FIND OUT!
What path are you walking on right now? Time to stroll the beach in deep thought or time to jump with a bellowing roar?
Sam Saved a Snake, Jesus Saved Me! April 29, 2011
A hard Monday with no plans in sight, still struggling from Satan’s attacks on my most precious of days.
So, how do we homeschool when mom is trying to put on her face and pull it all together, when in reality she is bitter and broken….. languishingly taking her very next step?
It was a, Ya know what God, I just don’t want to kind of days. I’m just gonna sit here and stomp my feet like a 2 year old and refuse to function, because I’m hurtin! Did you hear that God? I AM HURTING!
As if God didn’t already know that~right?
We decide to take a walk because first, for at least that minute, it wasn’t raining and second, because I know what happens to this soul when it gets out and connects with what He has created. The sky, the trees, a seemingly unimportant duck, the flowing water of the creek. This is all it takes to tame my restless, hurting soul.
So, I sought out God and He took care of the homeschooling. While investigating near the creek, we discovered a fairly good sized snake. Sadly, it was already dead, as he had gotten his body caught in the netting that is laid down with straw to help the grass seed grow. A little further down and we find another snake, dead again and caught in the netting. We keep going and yet another one deceased and caught also. My daring Sammy lifts up the net to see if there are any hiding inside and much to our surprise we find one, yep, completely stuck, but this time he is actually still alive.
And so the lessons began. It was quite clear that if we just walked away this little feller would most certainly die. The Jimenez animal rescuers got into gear. We tried to just tear the net away but it kept digging deeper into his scales, so all of us decided the only way to free him was to get some scissors and cut him loose. Well, we had walked there and I generally don’t keep scissors in my pocket, so quickly, we trudged the little over a mile walk back home, got the camera, the scissors, and drove back.
Sure enough, that slithery little friend was awaiting for us and we speedily stepped into action. My Sam, bravely held onto his tail trying to nudge him the right direction and I very carefully cut the netting. Soon enough, he was FREE! His smooth belly had already starting growing around the deep indentation, so Mr snakey had been there a while. He didn’t skirm at all, just complacently hung onto to Sam, as if to say, thank you. Probably starving and thirsty we placed him near the water and steadily he swam back into his life.
Feeling like that snake caught in the net with no way out? Can’t move forward because its too tight, can’t move backwards because it will tear off your scales. My Sammy can’t come and free you, but my Jesus CAN and DOES!
Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.
How Far Have We Really Come? February 21, 2011
I tried, I really tried….to just give a quote and a few short thoughts on it. I can’t, I really can’t……as He opens my heart it just pours out.
I have been teaching my children some American history over the past few months and I am starting to wonder who is learning more them or me?
As we are studying the foundation of this country and its people I am starting to ponder that though we have made many vast advances since then, we also have lost sight of some really important things. I may have my great house, great car, great electronic devices, or all the food one can imagine, but what about family, marriage, time, God, and the priorities and perspective of a worthy life?
I am coming to believe that the Pilgrims, first settlers, and our Founding Fathers knew far more about what matters in life, than sadly some of us may ever know in our time here.
Childless, religious differences-she a Quaker & he Episcopalian, and a 17 year age difference-he the older, are some of the challenges that James Madison, also known as the Father of the Constitution and our 4th President, and his wife Dolley faced.
Yet in-spite of those struggles they had a successful, happy marriage. Dolley was quoted as saying, “Our hearts understand each other.” These 5 seemingly simple words are so profound.
I am quite accomplished at understanding what my heart wants, desires, & needs, but what do I know of my husband’s heart? For the greater part of this marriage I knew next nothing of his heart, my focus was my heart, my needs, and felt justified with that.
To become one flesh and yet remain a ignorant to the other’s heart and soul is to remain nothing more than conjoined strangers. To join as one with your hearts and souls is the one of the deepest levels of intimacy one can achieve.
To understand each other on this level is a beautiful reflection of the One who loves and understands every part of me.
Psalm 33:15 He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.
He is alive and dwelling within my heart and the deeper that love grows the more I am able to understand Him.
How well do you understand your spouses heart?
Are Ya Freakin or Seekin? January 15, 2011
It is amazing to me that truly in an instant your life can be changed forever. Thursday afternoon I took my son, Ismael, to the optometrist with the notion that he would be getting a prescription for eye glasses. Well, I didn’t get what I came in for, instead I was told some totally unexpected and serious news.
It turns out that my Mayo has something call uveitis, yeah as if I knew what that was. He also has almost stage 3 cataracts and his lens is literally stuck to his iris. Oh, and that’s only all we know so far because when the Dr. tried to dilate his eye it is so fused, it didn’t work.
You see uveitis is in short terms an inflamation of the eye and should be treated immediately. If left untreated it can cause serious eye problems and even blindness. His cataracts & glued lens are a direct result of having uveitis for some time now. It gets better, uveitis is also associated with many weird and funky other conditions so we’ll have to do all the tests to rule everything out.
If that wasn’t enough to be thrown at me like a fast ball in the face it is very possible that this uveitis started 1 year ago and was not addressed. To make a long story short last January he had irritation and redness to his eye that I KNEW was not pink eye, yet that is all the Dr. would chuck it up to. After several visits and mostly being ignored one last medicine from the ER actually seemed to make his problem go away.
I will tell you this is a huge boulder to be carrying, but the part I really want to share is that even though it is scary, frustrating, & with all the unknowns I HAVE the most amazing sense of peace that I am not capable of finding on my own. This is not something I want for my Mayo nor something I would wish upon your child, but the Holy Spirit is so with me and it literally holds my hand.
Honestly, I didn’t even have to ask for it, He came. Do you know why He came? Because I seek Him out daily, I am deeply & completely IN LOVE with my Jesus, and I believe in ALL He has to say to me. Walking with Christ is to have an intense relationship with Him. You know Him, You understand Him, you see Him in everything, & you are confident He is right there with you.
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus.
I would so appreciate, if you feel lead, to join the Heavenly Hosts on Tuesday morning lifting us up in prayer. This is the day I will be going to Hinsdale-wherever the hec that is-to see a pediatric ophthalmologist. The series of testing, uncovering, & treatment will begin. At best for now he will remain on two eye medications, one of which is a steroid given every 2 hours, and have eye surgery for the cataracts. I am grateful that we have treatment options, but I don’t like that my son will be going under general anesthesia and having his lens removed and an artificial one put in. My funny God, lead me to agree to start the training for our local Crisis Pregnancy Center this Friday night and all day tomorrow-apparently He thinks I can handle that too!
God gave me this lovely song today. It was the first time I have ever heard it, but it fits quite well.
The more I seek Him the more aware I am that He is already there.
Getting out of the Cage Without Actually Leaving January 4, 2011
Is it really only January in this winter season? I have come to learn that I was not created to live where there is cold or snow. I have faced many trials and struggles in life with great perseverance, but if ya drop me off in Antarctica I think I would just fall face first into the snow and freeze to death. Snow is pretty for about a second in a picture and that about does it for me. I don’t want to play in it, I don’t want to drive in it, and I don’t want to wear layers of clothes to go outside.
Don’t get me wrong, I know there are plenty of you who love the snow and cold and freezing weather, and that is great. I don’t think everyone should share in my disliking, it is just part of who I am. Oh, to be able to go outside and let the sun beat down on my entire existence would fill my soul. I NEED the sun everyday. It actually feeds my soul and it has been hiding for to long. I long for its warmth, its brilliance, its awakening of my soul, its reminder of our Almighty Creator.
As I am seemingly not able to experience the warm outdoors here in lovely Illinois I have come to refer to my home as my CAGE. That sense of being locked in and there is no way out. It is a great reminder for me on a macro and micro level. I am certain I don’t want to LIVE in Illinois, I am certain I don’t BELONG in a suburban neighborhood, and I am certain I don’t want to live in THIS house! See, look how enlightened I am due to the cold.
I have finally solved an amazing mathematical equation: Carolyne + confinement to her cage= depression, which= withdrawal from life, which= more depression. I am starting to see a pattern here!
I love to serve my family and I know that God has a great purpose for that, but I serve often under less than pleasant conditions and that makes it a bit harder to reap the joy. I have come to understand that I HAVE TO get outside of my cage once in a while and serve outside of my family. He has a purpose for me with people other than just the ones living here. This was a big one for me to understand.
Today, all I had to do was make time to listen to a live podcast with Free Agent Underground and even though I didn’t physically leave my cage, I left mentally for a while and it did a world of good. In a day were I have more than I can dream of accomplishing, I took the time to seek out something that was Godly, encouraging, and truthful, and it made a difference in me. Want to know an even better part? I still accomplished what needed to be accomplished and the day flowed just fine.
We all have the same amount of time in a day, that doesn’t change. What can change is what you CHOOSE to do with it. When we push ourselves beyond what we think we’re capable of we get to see what He says we’re capable of. Claim your time, take control of your time, and use it to serve Him abundantly.
You are always welcome to stop by and let me out of my cage. As long as were not going to “play” outside in the cold.